Letting go with grace and without guilt. Has a beautiful ring to it, doesn’t it? So why is it so hard? Let’s start with what meaning we give to letting go…
- Saying goodbye to something (or someone)
- Letting go of attachment to an object or person
- Letting go of a feeling or emotional baggage
- Letting go of a limiting belief standing in the
way of moving forward
- Not even bothering to give a voice or our energy
to a situation
It could just be letting go of…
* negative self-talk
* expectations of others or ourselves
Whatever it is, we all have something in our lives we want to let go of (I know I do), but the process can be painful depending on the depth of attachment to what you are trying to be free of. But why do we hold on?
We all have a basic need to feel love, safety and belonging and will go to great lengths to protect these basic essential needs. We often hang onto objects, emotions or people against our better judgement because letting go can bring discomfort, pain, change and a lot of emotion.
So how do you determine if the time is right, or what exactly to let go of? I like to break things down into simple steps and love the phrase “small hinges swing big doors.” This means, one small step can result in significant change when we follow through. Trying to tackle every area of your life and make drastic changes over night can lead to overwhelm, stress and anxiety, which is not the objective!
Letting go can be so liberating!
But how do you determine if it’s time, or what to let go of? Here are a few tips:
- Honor the process – Be kind to yourself and give your feelings a voice without judgement. Create a safe space to spend time with this process. Remember the depth of attachment, emotions involved, etc. will impact the length of the process for you. So be patient!
- Make a list – Identifying the source of what is getting in your way is important in order to make changes. Once you start peeling back the layers you may end up with a different conclusion than where you started – just write, write, write – it doesn’t have to be fancy!
- Drill down – Once the list is complete, circle 1-3 items on your list that rise to the top. What triggers the most emotion, causing the most stress in your life, or blocking your path?
You want to get curious here!
Asking questions is a great way to do some self-discovery and a healthy way to determine what in your life it may be time to let go of. There are many questions, you can ask, but here are a few of my faves to start with:
- Is this (feeling, thought, situation, etc.) in alignment with my goals, desires, dreams, etc.?
- Does this (you fill in the blank) serve the current or future version of myself any longer?
- What would you rather be experiencing? Once you have an answer to this question, you can determine if letting go will create space for a new experience.
- Who else in your life will be impacted by your decision to let go? Our immediate response to this is typically “nobody” but I encourage you to really think about this as often we fear how our decisions impact others and take action (or not) based on this. ** This is a bonus question ;o).
Here is a quick example:
Let’s say your goal this year is to expand your business and touch the lives of 1 million women empowering them to live their lives to the fullest. However, you live with guilt over a decision you made 10 years ago and now find it hard to experience joy because every time you experience success the limiting belief from the past guilt rears its ugly head. You start finding evidence to support your limiting beliefs and start telling yourself “I don’t deserve to be happy,” etc. Has this ever happened to you?
Do you think hanging onto the guilt and limiting beliefs are clearing the path to reach your goals or standing in the way?
Ask the question: Is holding onto the guilt and limiting belief in alignment with the future version of myself (or current) being wildly successful in my business? The answer would be NO! I cannot execute my vision of making a difference and touching the lives of a million women when underneath it all I feel unworthy.
In this situation, holding on to false negative beliefs are impacting my ability to reach my goals because I won’t allow myself to experience success. Letting go can be a game changer.
So, what might you have to let go of to have a different experience in a specific situation, or life in general? What’s holding you back?
So, where does the grace come in?
1. By being OK with letting go and honoring your decision
2. By stepping into the future version of yourself
3. By releasing the guilt you may feel and again honoring your decision
4. Unapologetically answering those questions and stepping into your truth!
My Challenge –
I challenge you to LET GO of 1 thing that is holding you back and commit to share it with someone. We’d love to hear from you!
Then I want you to celebrate that decision and don’t look back!
Live your life by design!