Did you know it could just be your thoughts that are getting in the way of reaching your goals? What we say to ourselves over and over again – often without even thinking about it – can be so powerful! But is it true?
What exactly is a limiting belief? It is something you belief to be true about yourself or a situation that isn’t actually true, and therefore limiting in some way.
Our beliefs create our experiences and our experiences support our beliefs.
So what’s the big deal? Well, let’s say you belief that you are horrible at networking – and you tell yourself, I’m an introvert and will never be able to meet anyone at a networking event, nobody will talk to me, so on and so on… What experience do you think you will have the next time you attend a networking event?
Or, let’s say you belief someone doesn’t like you and they aren’t returning your calls. The fact that they aren’t responding to you supports (in your mind) the false belief – that they don’t like you. What could really be going on though? Perhaps they had a family issue, a very busy week, or simply forgot… it could be a million other things, but the time and energy I spent creating my experience, feeding my false belief, etc. could have been spent elsewhere. What if they really don’t like you you ask? Well, you can spend a lot of energy creating false beliefs around why, so this would fall under the category of things you can’t control. Hope you see the chain of events and the never ending loop you can get caught up in.
What do you do about those pesky limiting beliefs?
This is where reframes come into play. A reframe is a way to change the relationship you have between your belief and the experience. You aren’t changing the content of what happened, but you want to change the meaning you give to your belief so it shapes a new outcome. Easy right? It takes a little conditioning, but so worth it so here are a few action steps to help you:
Make a list of all the limiting beliefs you have. Examples are…
“I’m never going to be able to lose weight”
“I’m not pretty enough”
“People won’t buy my product, service, etc.”
“I don’t have enough experience”
There are millions of things we tell ourselves every day that limit us, so if it seems like nothing is coming to you right away, I encourage you to stick with the exercise and really think about what you say to yourself throughout the day.
Once you have your list, I want you to ask yourself 5 questions.
- What if it isn’t true?
- What real evidence do you have that it is true?
- What is the positive intention of having that belief (safety, protecting us from not failing, etc.)?
- What else could be true? For instance, instead of thinking “I suck at networking” you could say “I’m going to meet 1 new person today” or “being an introvert is a asset and makes me unique” – you get the picture.
- Does this limiting belief serve you and the future version of yourself?
Now it’s all about creating healthy habits which take some time to develop so please don’t beat yourself up when you hear that negative belief creep back in. Instead think about the experience you want to create for yourself and ask if the belief is in alignment with that experience. Remember… our beliefs create our experiences, and our experiences support our beliefs. So if you are caught in a loop of negative, limiting, false beliefs, you WILL find evidence around you to support them.
I’m going to challenge YOU to challenge THEM!
Live your life by design!